Funny Names For Sororities

[Sherlock Holmes] is left All That, All That I hide (third)


Title:
All That Is Left, All That I hide

Fandom: Sherlock Holmes


Pairing:
Holmes / Watson, Watson / Mary

Rating :


NC-17 Word Count: 17,700
(W)

Notes:
started last year for a project with





laurazel


which unfortunately has not come off, I finished a few months but the only place now that I could find some 'time. It is longish, angsty and talk about two issues that I find most difficult in this fandom: the marriage of Watson and cocaine. But since at least one fic about these two things have written everyone, here we are.

Summary:
Fall 1890. Watson has to manage a marriage and a case for Holmes. Holmes has a dependency on and manage a problem with Watson. Neither is very good at what he must do. Below angst, complications, and a yellow.





When I reached the apartment in Baker Street for many years I shared with my friend Sherlock Holmes, had recently passed eight o'clock one evening in the autumn of 1890. In the afternoon I sent a telegram to tell him that I would come, adding that I need to talk to him a rather serious matter, for which I intended to ask for his intervention.

For some time my attempts to get in touch with Holmes had proved vain, which I had not a little frustrated, so much so that, despite having received no response, decided to apply equally to the apartment and see for yourself if, as I thought, Holmes openly trying to avoid them or whether he had the hands of some important business which had not wanted to put aside.

Mrs. Hudson greeted me with the familiarity of ever, and reproached me, as every time it was the infrequency of my visits. He informed me that Holmes was at home in the morning. Do not set foot outside the house for several days.

In itself it was not anything strange when they had cases to work on, Holmes used to stay in the living room and languishing pitifully until something distracted him from inactivity. But if you really were the case, I would expect that to be accepted with enthusiasm the news that I had a case to be submitted, or at least that responded to my telegrams. I would have expected at least a flicker of curiosity.

I opened the drawing-room door following a nasty habit of entering without knocking in what, until a short time before, had also been my home. The room had been used recently, perhaps hours or minutes before, as evidenced by the fireplace, dying but still on, and cover the sofa with slightly crumpled. On the mantelpiece was the dish with the leftovers of tobacco of the day, rather scarce. The table of chemistry seemed unused for some time.

automatically my thoughts went to the bedroom of Holmes, so I joined and I knocked on the door firmly. It was not late, Holmes must have finished eating and not much doubted that she was already asleep. When there came no response, I tried to knock a second time.

"Holmes? Are you there? "

The door was not locked. I opened it very slowly, with some reservations. I very rarely Holmes had admitted to his room, and I had not ever allowed to enter in his absence. One time I had reached there without being invited, and the next morning Holmes had made it clear that, as no doubt welcome the immediate future, such a breach would not be tolerated again.

The room was empty, the bed unmade. I sighed, feeling a principle of exasperation, and went out closing the door.

There was no alternative: inforcai the stairs and walked the second floor. I could not conceive of a logical reason why Holmes should be there, after I moved, the room was left bare and empty as all the vacant rooms. But I'm not Sherlock Holmes, and I do not think that everything moves from logical reasons, even Holmes himself. In this case, I suspected that the reasons, if any, were of another nature.

"Holmes? I'm coming. "

The vision that greeted me at my entrance was the most pitiful and disturbing. The curtains were drawn, a dimly lit candle on the nightstand next to the custody of the Moroccan Open, with the hypodermic needle placed above. On what had been my bed lay Sherlock Holmes, my friend Sherlock Holmes, the most brilliant mind of England is completely prostrated, one arm folded above his forehead and the other stretched over the edge, the sleeve of her gown and the shirt with rolled arm and a shining drop of blood in the crook of his elbow. The robe had the flaps open and hanging askew from his shoulders, the belt was loose at the waist, as if he tried to undress without remembering to untie. The dresses below were in complete disorder, his shirt torn hem of the pants, the first buttons open until the middle of the chest and unbuttoned his pants and underwear as beneath them.

I hastened to close the door behind her, seized by an irrational fear that Mrs. Hudson Holmes could find in this state. The

Click the lock seemed to awaken from its torpor. Suddenly he opened his eyes in my direction with a movement of dry eye, not with the flickering uncertain of who awakens. He looked me from head to foot with great calm.

"Sorry."

"What, Holmes?"

"Whether you fight with your wife."

"I have not had a fight with Mary."

"O Mary had a fight with you. It's the same thing. "
" There has been no quarrel, Holmes, "I said with a hint of impatience.
"No? Yet it's Thursday. "

I thought it was the effect cocaine unreason it, so the two statements sounded inconsistent with each other. "My friend, I confess that do not follow you." "On Thursday, you and your wife, you tend to go for a walk before dinner, after you've closed the office. Yet you do not even the shadow of a clump of mud on your shoes. " " Mary went to visit a relative out of town. " " So that is another woman's blond hair on your shoulder? "Holmes I looked better without the shadow of the fun that accompanied your allegations against me. "No, your wife is at home, waiting to come back to tell her that I accepted the case. And you're angry because this time issues that you mention that you could not talk to me, and maybe invent a fanciful lie on my health. "
" I could not tell that man that are usually deep in most praise High refused to render assistance to a friend for a prey to the fumes of cocaine, "I replied, somewhat coldly.
"Why not? If the case turns out to be quite interesting, to say the whole of London. " I felt terribly insulted. "I do not know what a man judge me, Holmes, but if you really think I could ever make public disgrace I'm seeing the scene, you are mistaken. If London knew half the things I know ... "
" If your wife knew the other half "I whipped her voice.
clenched fists in a fit of anger, but disserrai them a moment later. This was Holmes, I thought, and this only the third or fifth or twentieth replica of a scene that I had seen. Holmes was no anger with anger as a summer storm, and blamed the nervousness of letting me forget. Holmes's expression softened. Clapped him on the edge of the mattress with a friendly gesture. "Sit here for a moment while the effect wears off, will you?" He said softly. "Today the numbness seemed reluctant to leave."
"How much time has passed after inoculation?" I asked, professional and personal concerns are inextricably bound together. "A couple of hours. I do not know. I was not really in me. " sat down gingerly on the edge of the bed, staring straight at me and avoiding my gaze wander to other parts of his body. Even after a year, the mere thought - even before the view - of that specimen of human beauty was enough to completely undermine my ability to judge. "I really wish you could stop to hurt you in this way, Holmes. Lately it seems to me worse and worse. " " Yes, and what you can deduce, my dear Watson? "Said Holmes. "It's my fault. I know. I know it well. I know without you I remember. There is no time of day that the thought processes of torment. " " Fear not, "Holmes said, stifling a yawn. "I will not die as any opium addict in a infamous den. I do not have much respect for myself, this is true, but it's still enough to make me find the prospect repugnant. "
" Holmes, please ... "
" What, my dear? " replied with a smile opaque.

"Not to say that. "Please stop this talk at once."
"You're right, it is a bad topic of conversation," said Holmes, rubbing his fingers through his hair tiredly. "I received your telegram. The latter, in particular, is a small masterpiece. Certainly the attitude of the writer makes all the difference. "
" If you received it, "I said, ignoring his ironic provocation," then you know of my visit. If you know, because - Holmes, why did you want to see you in this state? "

" I was hoping that did not come. "He closed his eyes. "I'm sorry. I mean, I hoped that I was from. Do I contradict myself with irritating frequency, when it comes to you. You have a deleterious effect on my right. "

" If it's an elaborate way to arouse my guilt, Holmes, know that you do not need. "

" No, "said Holmes. "No," he repeated, opening his eyes. "I forgive you, my friend, really. I miscalculated the time. "He raised himself on one elbow, and then slowly sat up. He seemed to notice only at that state of his clothes, and sat resolutely hem of her robe on the body. I got

and I offered him my hand. Holmes accepted it, his fingers were dry and frost. Then the friendship and affection towards my friend had the better sull'irritazione and concern for the case that tormented me for some time, also leaned on his other hand and spoke to him warmly.

"I see that are not well, Holmes. Do not want to grieve with other thoughts. I'll be back at another time, if you can do me the favor to devote an hour of your time, tell me when. "

" Nonsense. I'm fine, "said Holmes, and the truth now that she was standing resembled much more the energetic investigator famous throughout London and the cocaine weakened by the effects of drugs. "Come with you in the living room and talk about whatever you want."

As we descended the stairs, I turn my second instinct was to my old room. No one knew better than me that Holmes was a man infinitely more sentimental than tolerate display. Other times, had given me a thrill to see this nice in the chest, but now I seemed to have an icy crust around the heart, impervious to heat, but not about the pain because the pain was there long before nestling inside.

"And how is Mrs. Watson," asked Holmes suddenly, without looking back. He walked resolutely to the fireplace Almost out and threw another chocolate into the fire, to rekindle the dying embers with the tip dell'attizzatoio.

Never once since I got married I had asked about my wife, but the tone was flat, without a trace of irony, so I answered politely: "Very well, thank you. He asked me to pass his greetings and remind you that this invitation to dinner has never ceased to be valid, if you ever want to accept it. "

Holmes I glanced over his shoulder. He had two dark circles around the eyes and seemed very worn, but his own master. "It would be a wonderful scene, no doubt. I wonder what conversation, your wife and me. "

"Whatever, I guess. You are both very good conversationalists. "

" and you sit in the middle, the same portrait of happiness. "

held his searching gaze, which was able - and who could know better than me? - To shake Men are much stronger and hardened than an ex-army doctor. "I do not deny that I would love if you and Mary did you go along. Did you know, you talked, you know it's an intelligent woman and spirit. "

" Too smart. If he did not know you wanted anything, you should marry a stupid woman. "

sat on the bench before the fire, sighing. "Do not drag me back to this speech, Holmes, please."

"No, certainly." Holmes picked up the pipe from the shelf and sat in a chair, stretching his legs towards the fireplace. "Tell me about this matter, and do not neglect any detail. If you're worried about the story that pushed to close the clinic with two hours notice, it must be pretty serious. "

" Holmes, how ... Really, Holmes, the only way to know a thing is me spied on. "

" On the contrary, Watson, the deduction is simpler world. I've sent Your telegram about four and a half, your study is at least fifteen minutes walk from the post office, wanting to make a rough calculation you close the study at four, rather than six as your habit. You could send someone to attend to the commission, of course, but given the personal nature of the request and the tone of the message, I would doubt it. "He smiled slightly. "And now your story, Doctor, if you do not mind."

picked up ideas for a moment. "This" debut with a bit of uncertainty due to my visit for the first time in the position of the client rather than the assistant, "Isa Whitney. Not I presume you know him. You ... "

" The brother of Elias Whitney, St. George's, yes. In my youth I became useful to his brother. Continue. "

I marveled, as always, to the extent and breadth of knowledge of Holmes. "His wife, Kate Whitney, is a childhood friend of Mary. Remember when we met in the opium den in which you were lurking in disguise? There followed the bizarre case of man from the wrong lip. "

" I remember perfectly. For a split second I wondered if I had not fallen too in the habit of seeking comfort in drugs from the joys of married life. He seemed wary of those ... I'm sorry, I stop to terminate. Continue, please. "

" I was wary

, as you say, Holmes, "I said," because Fumerie are not my usual place of attendance, and because I was trying to distinguish Whitney in the pit of men adrift of their senses. However, a week ago, Mrs. Whitney was presented at my door in tears, telling me about how her husband had disappeared again and did not return home for four days. It was not the first time Whitney was missing from home that night when we met he had been away for two days, but four? It had never happened. I therefore went to the 'Bar of Gold', find and request information about him, but told me not to see him for more than a month. These days I extended my research to a number of Fumero's Upper Swandam Lane and surrounding areas - experience which, I confess in all sincerity, I hope not to repeat too soon - but Isa Whitney did not find the slightest track. Today are ten days after his wife saw him for the last time. The disappearance was reported to the police, of course ... "

" Who is handling the case? "He asked. "Or rather, who does not

it is working?"

"Hopkins."

"Good. Continue. "

" There's not much else to say. Mrs. Whitney is afraid that her husband has been lost in some rough neighborhood and has been robbed and beaten, maybe even killed, or hit by a car while it was not in itself. The poor woman is absolutely desperate. "

Holmes pressed a finger at the lips, pondering. "A week ago, you say. Your first telegram on Monday. Why have you waited so long to call me? "

I could not tell him that after our meeting two weeks before and the resolution of the case of Miss Violet Hunter had warned him not as expensive ever, precious and irreplaceable presence in my life, and I felt my will falter with an intensity that had frightened me. I could not tell him that I was afraid to see him again, because I did not know if I would be man enough to fulfill the vows made to my wife. I could not tell him, but Holmes knew anyway.

"It was a reckless decision," he went on, mercilessly. "The only one to suffer the consequences of having your personal reasons put before the most logical way is Mr. Whitney."

"In what part of this process lies with the intention that if I had not brought by force to your home would have continued to ignore my telegrams? "

" The part where, in the last four days, I doubt of ever being polished for over half an hour later. "

I ran my hands over his face, shocked and exasperated. "But for God's sake, Holmes," I muttered into the cup of the palms.

"It is not a justification, of course," continued Holmes, expressionless. "We are both guilty of that sin, though the reasons could not be more different. Now that we know, let's move on. "

I raised my head. "What are you doing?"

"change clothes and go out. Please to wait here until I return. If you need to tell your wife that you will do later, I can get Billy available. "

I was about to offer to accompany him, but I bit my tongue. If Holmes did not need my company, obviously it could not only be useful, but might have risked compromising the investigation. So I simply respond that, by providing a development like this, I already warned my wife not to expect.

Holmes looked at me oddly, but made no comment. As he finished speaking he had already risen from his chair and is now headed for his room, chiudendovisi in for a few minutes.

When he reappeared, was again the ragged old man I met at the 'Bar of Gold' when I went for the first time to recall Isa Whitney. For the moment, still walking with his normal pose and with his usual brisk, so the effect was very weird, but I knew it would take just over the threshold curve and limping gait of the old visitor to the den.

"I presume you intend to return to the 'Bar of Gold'?"

"Exactly," said Holmes, arranging a thin, long black hair in the wig hoary.

"I doubt you'll get some information there," I said. "I'm pretty sure they did not know anything. "

" Let me doubt the goodness of your survey methods, Watson. For one thing, I am sure that you are limited to interview the managers of local and not customers. "

" How could I? Among the many merits of opium, there is no doubt to make the most lucid and helpful people who use it. "

Holmes smiled in the dark reflection of the window. "I agree with you on the clarity, but you'd be surprised to find out how much longer is a man haunted by a master of himself. Also that you put the right questions, of course. "

" Art which you are the teacher, "I replied, this time without a trace of irony.

"I have my methods," Holmes admitted. "As the saying goes? 'We need a thief to catch another'. "

We exchanged a look in the reflection of the window, and only for a moment it seemed to me to stop Holmes to be a grin of superiority and a smile become quite true, as tinged with sadness. Holmes then turned in my direction.

"A couple of hours should be sufficient, but I can not exclude that it takes more than expected. In the meantime, is' like I'm at home. "And before

I could work, be sure and wish him luck, he had vanished. Just because I tended ears to hear, I felt the sound of the back door that closes gently.

were about nine. Holmes came home before one, and I must confess not without a hint of shame that I was lying fast asleep on the couch. I had not even sold half an hour before to the fatigue of the day, which the visit had given the apartment of Baker Street, so to speak, the coup de grace. Holmes woke me gently tap his shoulder, and when I opened my eyes I found him near me, squatting on his heels. He was himself again, although not the best form of himself. I ran my hand over his face.

"Excuse me, Holmes. These days I sleep very little. "

turning the hand of a quarter turn, Holmes touched my throat with the back of the fingers. They were warm, now, and even a touch so quick enough to get me a thrill. I am sure that Holmes saw it, because his eyes are lit with a curiosity that had nothing cold or analytical, a light that I knew all too well. But it was only a moment, Holmes withdrew his hand suddenly and stood up, heading for the display of liquor.

"Have you discovered something?" I asked, sitting up.

"More than anything, for the truth. It was a moderately successful evening. "

" I'm happy to hear that. Tell me more. "

" Most of the evening has been wasted listening to babbling nonsense and delusion, but my patience finally paid off. "Towards a measure of whiskey in each glass and added a splash of soda. Handed me one and retired to his seat with the other, and for half a minute peacefully sipped his drink as if he had other concerns in life. "The man with whom I spoke to was still in his first pipe. Whitney has recognized easily, are apparently long-standing knowledge, although one ignores the other's name. So goes the knowledge of perfumery.

"Our man saw Whitney out of the 'Bar of Gold' on the night of the twenty-three or twenty-four - can not be too sure of the date - and get in a cab, alone."

"Are you sure that those who knew was talking about? "

" Absolutely certain. "

" And if he do wrong? "
" In that case we would end up with a red herring in his hand, rather than any runway. "
nodded. "At this point you will want to find that coach, I presume?"
"There time, "said Holmes. "Before we discuss another matter, of no lesser importance."
"What is it?"

"my fee."

I looked very surprised, not for what he had said, but because Holmes He had never introduced such an argument in a manner so abrupt.

"Of course, Holmes. I will be glad that I will pay the expense. "

" I suppose you'd say that. "

" It's the least I can do. The Whitney does not pay the best conditions. "

" Good. Lucky for you the price is exceptionally reasonable, Watson, and consists of a night. "

" A ... "

" One night. Tonight. Stay with me tonight and tomorrow night at the latest Mrs. Whitney will regain her husband - dead or alive, this is not in my power to tell. "

I could not believe my ears. Holmes looked at me with inscrutable expression.

"Of all the things of questionable taste that I've heard in my life, Holmes, this is the most worthless" I said, his voice trembling with anger maltrattenuta. "The most shameful and most outrageous. I'm not a dog ...

running to crouch at your feet when you call! "

Un angolo della bocca di Holmes si incurvò in un sorriso sardonico. “Davvero? Quant’è curioso, allora, che tu mi debba trattare in questa precisa maniera, dottore.” Si alzò dalla poltrona, abbandonando il bicchiere sulla mensola del camino, e in un istante lo vidi incombere sopra di me, più alto e magro che mai, il fuoco alle spalle e il volto in ombra. “Quant’è curioso che tu debba ricordarti di me quando ti fa più comodo.”

“Ti ho chiesto aiuto per una persona che rischia la vita!”

“Non è a questo che mi riferisco.”

Distolsi gli occhi per un istante. Sapevo a cosa si riferiva, e fin da quando I had set foot in the apartment I knew that sooner or later the conversation would take place. It was inevitable. "It happened once, Holmes."

"So much of the phenomena we observe, including the unique, unrepeatable act of conception that raised you or me. The uniqueness does not make it any less serious consequences, if you can forgive the bad pun. "

" Holmes ... "

" I told you once to meditate on what you were agreeing to. I told you ... "

" Can you hear me, please? "

" ... I told you that my life was completely in your hands. You thought it was a metaphor, Doc? Or to say it just to maintain a pleasant exchange of courtesies? But how do you expect me to ... "

" I had to do it. Holmes. I had

. "I looked into his eyes, but I found an ounce of pity. "We were killing each other."

"What you mean," said Holmes, cold, "is that

I was killing you with my idiosyncratic, with my lack of any form of romance or respect to your limits with my authoritarian ways, with my coolness. So please, for 'what you say and spare me the turns of phrase. "

" No. No. "I jumped up, taking his hand. "None of this would have pushed me ... I could not. If that were the case, our friendship would have ended many years ago. "

" So explained better, Watson, because I have no idea what you're talking about, "said Holmes.

"I'm talking about," I said, without ever lowering his gaze, "the way we hurt while the other, and the disastrous influence he had on our lives. I'm talking about that time in Kent, where the lack of clarity necessary made you lose the right path that would lead you to the murderer of Mr. Meddlicott. I'm talking about the bullet that missed me by a whisker the temple, because I was too distracted to care since our last fight to live or die. "The hands rested on either side of the neck, and Holmes tried to wriggle like a horse reluctant to bite, but I held him tight. "I was a coward, Holmes, and you have every reason to hate me. If you prefer, we shall not see again. But I do not regret what I did, because I had no other choice. "

" Parliament. Parliament would be the right choice. "

" I'd heard. "

" When ever I refused to listen to rational discourse? "

"Every time I made you comfortable."

's thought that both flew to his terrible habit of cocaine, who was eating every day. Holmes made a face.

"You're lying, Watson," he said softly, as if a touch so closely the same energy draining. "I do not know why you do you're taking the trouble, but it is so, and as sure God does not make you honor."

That was when, if ever proof were needed, gave further proof of my cowardice: the sinking fingers through the tufts short and thin over the curve of the ear and kissed him, a betrayal. I loved him, I wanted more than anything in the world, but I did it simply because I could not bear having to listen or say another word.

Holmes gave a guttural sound, like the cry of a wounded animal, and in a moment his hands were in my hair and the distance between our bodies does not exist. I borrow an expression so dear to modern literature sentimental when I say that I kissed her as if she were to die tomorrow, with a strength and desperation that I had not known, but I still stunned by the intensity of an avalanche. Wrapping an arm around her waist, Holmes leaned over me in appearance, not attempt to join every available portion of the reciprocal skin, and claimed the possession of my mouth as something long lost.

When we parted for breath, I caught a flash of her cheeks flushed before Holmes Tilt your head and sink voluptuously in the crook of my neck, running his lips on the soft flesh just below the ear lobe in a delicious caress .

"Stay," he whispered, his voice slightly hoarse, taking a small piece of meat between your teeth.

This had the power to wake up in the frenzy that I had fallen, and with an effort that seemed to me the immense rested his hands on his chest and walked away from me resolutely.

"I must go home," said unsteady voice. With this

quickly picked up his jacket and walked out without looking. Holmes, mercifully, it stopped me. If he did, I am sure that my will would have crumbled like clay mixed evil and would have stayed with him that night and all the other nights of my life.



Part 2